I think, as women, we are loaded with guilt. About anything and everything. At least for me, that's the case.
I feel guilty for spending so much time at work, so I make a plan to leave right on time and then I feel guilty for not putting in more overtime. I make a plan to spend more time with the girls and then feel guilty for spending less time with my husband as a result. I feel guilty for spending too much money, complaining about trivial things, not keeping up with friends as well as I should, spending too much time on the phone in the evenings, letting my laundry pile up, not being a better housekeeper, and on and on and on!
Lately, I feel guilty for the child I'm carrying. And then, I feel guilty for saying that "out loud". I know some women that are still praying for children. Women would do anything in the world to hold their own child in their arms, and I'm carrying one. Last week, a college friend of mine, lost her 4 month old little girl, and I'm going to be a new mom soon. I feel guilty for wanting to share exciting baby news, while she is grieving the loss of her sweet baby.
I don't know what the right thing to do is. I have been praying and I feel so badly for Kellie and her family. I want to be supportive and let them know that I am there for their family and the more I think about it - the best thing I can do for them is love this little one inside me as much as I can. Cherish every second that I have with this tiny person. Enjoy every moment of pregnancy and then not take a second of this child's life for granted. None of us know what will happen tomorrow, or the day after so I'm going to be the best mother I can be, for as long as I can be and hope that God show's Kellie and all of the other women out there with longing and hurt in their hearts, his plan soon.
Our God is an Awesome God and I know that he has amazing things in store for these women, and he just needed little Maddie's help as an Angel, to reach them all.
